'Love' This Trailer

I guess I should have waited to write up that piece about the Lovelace teaser poster, because the first trailer debuted just days following.  I think I am officially obsessed with this movie.  Gimme a big ensemble drama centered on the 1970's porn scene, and I am there!  

Amanda Seyfried stars as Linda Lovelace, and the film centers on her descent into the porn world.  She is led by her boyfriend, Chuck Traynor (Peter Sarsgaard), to porn producers when it turns out that Linda has a...um...unique talent.  Deep Throat becomes one of the most lucrative adult films of all time, and it ultimately destroys Lovelace's life.  

To be honest, I wasn't sure what to think of the movie when I first heard about it.  Sure it has a killer cast, but lots of movies have big ensembles and they don't work.  In addition to Seyfried and Sarsgaard, the cast includes Paul Rudd and Sharon Stone as Lovelace's parents, Bobby Cannavale and Hank Azaria help lure Lovelace into the seedy porn underbelly, and Chloe Sevigny plays a reporter.  There are even more people packed into this movie, so I just skimmed the surface.  

One of my favorite things about the trailer is that it features a title card for Debi Mazar.  Debi frickin' Mazar, people!  When was the last time that happened?  That's right.  Never.  You know who Mazar is.  She was the evil dog hater in Beethoven's 2nd, Two Face's S&M-y clad bad girl for a blink of an eye in Batman Forever, and the nail technician who reveals the infidelity in the remake of The Women.  She played Shauna on Entourage, but I never watched that show in fear that I would catch the douchebag disease.  Is it possible that the studio is giving title credits to the people who actually have large roles in this?  What a concept!  

Directors Jeffrey Friedman and Rob Epstein previously directed the Allen Ginsberg drama Howl, as well as the documentaries The Celluloid Closet and Paragraph 175.  

Fifty Shades of Suck: Where a Sub Can Be a Sub

I guarantee they are reading a better book...

Why hello there, listeners!  Megan and I are pleased to present you with the second Fifty Shades of Suck podcast of the week, and I am happy to report that we are going to be recording again tonight.  All spanking, all the time!  I included the above picture because I mention in this podcast that the relationships on The Muppet Babies are more complicated than in this book.  Have a listen to chapter 13 here!!!

In this chapter, Anastasia Steele has her meeting with Christian Grey to discuss the contract.  I get overly angry during this chapter.  This book is quickly becoming Runaround: The Novel.  The plot isn't really furthered so much as Ana goes on and on about how she's not sure she's ready to commit to such a relationship.  The book is in need of some serious editing.  I wish Megan would don a Zorro mask and condense this for us. 

While discussing the contract, Ana brings up Christian's former submissives.  I will you this image to contemplate while you listen. 

Were you part of Geoffrey's Birthday Club?

Have I fully destroyed your childhood yet? 

In the last podcast, Megan and I briefly discussed music choices for our own Fifty Shades of Grey: The Classical Album, and I think I have some options for tracks. 

What do you guys think?

I am also starting to believe that Ana has an eating disorder.  She doesn't eat anything in front of Christian, and when she does it's gross.  She talks about how she didn't eat all day, but don't worry, Ana plays with her food in this chapter.  It's about a sexy as a wet fart.  You won't look at asparagus the same way again.

But the BEST thing about chapter 13 is that there is a genuine typo in it!!!  Isn't that awesome?!  Clearly the editor was either touching him/herself (hey, I don't want to assume it was a woman), or they thought it was so awful two chapters in that they didn't bother finishing it.  Shudder. 

If you are just discovering Fifty Shades of Suck, my galpal Megan and I are reading EL James's inexplicable hit Fifty Shades of Grey out loud and providing our own snarky commentary.  If you need to catch up, have a listen to each of the podcasts below.

Chapter 10 & 11

Chapter 9

Chapter 7 & 8

Chapter 5 & 6

Chapter 4

Chapter 3

Chapter 2

Chapter 1

Let's Re-Name 'The Butler'!

Wait, wait, wait.  Let me get this straight.  They might have to change the title of The Butler, the star-studded Oscar circle jerk of a history lesson, because aWarner Bros. "had that title first?"

Warner Bros. is claiming keepsies on the title from a comedic short from 1917 that shares the title of Lee Daniels's upcoming White House drama.  That's right, a near-century year old short film might force The Weinstein Co. to change every single piece of pre-existing promotional material.  Warner Bros. won an appeal on Tuesday, and TWC is going to appeal the ruling. 

Did I mention that The Butler comes out in only six weeks?  Warner Bros. couldn't have fought this, oh, I don't know, when the movie was announced?  Or when publicity stills were surfacing?  After the trailer debuted?  The lawyer for TWC had this to say:

"The suggestion that there is a danger of confusion between The Weinstein Co.'s 2013 feature movie and a 1917 short that has not been shown in theaters, television, or DVD or any other way for almost a century makes no sense."

poll by twiigs.com



Achilles' Heels: First Teaser Poster for 'Lovelace' Drops

I am super stoked for Lovelace for multiple reasons.  I want to see Amanda Seyfried in a dramatic, starring role.  The cast (which includes James Franco, Sharon Stone, Chloe Sevigny, and stallion Bobby Cannavale) makes me pee.  And I am also very curious to see how they handle the content.  How racy is the story of Linda Lovelace going to be?

I LOVE this teaser poster.  It's simple doesn't have any names on it.  The crossed legs hints at the X-rating that all the adults films had during the 70's.  I think it's right on the money. 

I only wonder if movie theaters are going to display it.  The poster isn't sexual at all, but I can see crazy soccer moms complaining about the bare legs being in view to their children while they take them to see Monsters University.  You see more skin at the beach, but, alas, people are stupid. 

Quick Take: 'The Heat' & 'The Bling Ring'

You know what?  I really liked The Heat.  I will shout it from the rooftops if necessary.  You aren't seeing this movie because of the plot.  You are seeing the Sandra Bullock-Melissa McCarthy cop buddy comedy because you want to see these two pick at each other for two hours.  On that level, my friends, the movie delivers. 

The trailers and commercials for this movie played every five seconds.  It was tiring.  I was reluctant to think that The Heat would be very funny on any other level than the chemistry between these two awesome ladies.  Right as the movie started, I realized something.  I had NO idea what The Heat was about.  No clue.  The ads weren't telling us anything other than "Go see Miss Congeniality spar with the bridesmaid who shat in a sink!!!"  I was sold. 

Bullock plays Ashburn, an uptight FBI agent up for a promotion who is paired with McCarthy's Mullins, a foul-mouthed Boston cop to take down a drug supplier.  Generic, no?  But these two are a match made in heaven.  I can't stress that enough.  Sure, I was wondering if the dialogue was lifted directly from Miss Congeniality, but as a straight-up comedy starring two very different actress, it kicks ass.  Plus, go support women in cinema, people!  We are not given the opportunity to see two actress light up a screen like this very often.  You can smell a sequel in the last few moments, and I embrace it with open arms.  Bring on The Heat 2: Get Out of the Kitchen.

The Bling Ring, Sophia Coppola's fifth film, delves into the true-life story of a group of fame obsessed teens burglarizing the homes of celebrities.  This movie distressed me, and made me reconsider going on TMZ and Perez Hilton so much while I am at work. 

We first meet Marc (Israel Broussard), a transfer student who is immediately befriended by Rebecca (Katie Chang), a girl who knows a thing or two about having sticky fingers.  They have a good time breaking into people's cars and stealing cash and purses, and soon they are simply Googling celebrity addresses and hopping fences onto their property.  These two are ballsy.  I was afraid to go into my neighbors' yard to retrieve a rogue kite or rambunctious soccer ball let alone steal a Fendi purse from Paris Hilton's house. 

Marc and Rebecca soon have lured others (Emma Watson, Taissa Farmiga, Claire Julien) into their circle, and they are sort of like the Bonnie and Clyde of the Facebook generation.  Apparently, breaking into the celebrity homes of Hilton, Orlando Bloom, Audrina Patridge and Rachel Bilson (who just this morning slammed the movie) was very easy.  The camera glides over the interiors of these homes (especially Hilton's), the colors blazing, the riches sparkling.  Every time they rob a house, it's like an indecent slumber party.  As they "ooh" and "ahh" over all the couture and jewelry, you really see how young they are.   

"I wanna rob." 

Some have criticized Coppola for the lack of depth in her characters, but I think their shallowness is what makes the film so distressing.  They are all so deluded that it actually made me uncomfortable.  There is a moment near the end when police are questioning Rebecca on the robberies, and Chang's eyes are almost glazed over.  The glossiness of how the film was shot against the behavior of the characters is truly eerie. 

Fifty Shades of Suck: Badly Furnished Bedroom Stories

Why is there a picture of Kennywood's Pirate Ship?  Have a listen and find out!

I feel the need to apologize to our devout listeners, because we said we were recording a podcast and we never got around to it.  Totes my B guys!  Sorrrrryyyy!!!  You can catch all the Chapter 12 realness right here!!!  Before we begin reading, Megan from Megoblog and I discuss the news of the movie adaptation of Fifty Shades of Grey getting a director, as well as the alleged confirmed candidates for Anastasia Steele. 

In addition to Bledel, Clarke, Kunis and Seyfried, Lucy Hale and Felicity Jones have been rumored. 

No word on any firm (hehe) rumors on Christian, but we have heard the same names over and over again.  Michael Fassbender, Matt Bomer and Ian Somerhalder.  Can we just eliminate Steele and just have the men acting out?  Yowzers!  In this chapter, Ana mulls over the contract...still.  Yes, and entire chapter devoted to our protagonist trying to figure out what she wants to do.  Then...she gets a surprise visitor.  Whoever could it be?!?!?!  I guess you will have to have a listen to find out!  

Megan and I also briefly mention Fifty Shades of Grey: The Classical Album. 

Yup, that's a legit thing.  Our society is in trouble.  I actually didn't know that EL James selected the music until I added that photo.  She's so professionally versatile!  James can vomit a shitty book AND compile a no-doubt shitty companion album?!

Ana and Christian do it yet again (spoiler?), and this encounter made me think of two very unlikely things: 

Also, Ana shows some genuine emotion besides confusion.  After Christian leaves her house, Ana almost has a nervous breakdown.  Ok, that's a bit much, but she acts like a nine-year old.  Sort of like this:

If you are just discovering Fifty Shades of Suck, my galpal Megan and I are reading EL James's inexplicable hit Fifty Shades of Grey out loud and providing our own snarky commentary.  If you need to catch up, have a listen to each of the podcasts below.

Chapter 10 & 11

Chapter 9

Chapter 7 & 8

Chapter 5 & 6

Chapter 4

Chapter 3

Chapter 2

Chapter 1

'Mean Girls' is Kind of Getting a Sequel. SO FETCH!

I meant to discuss this last week, but I guess I got distracted.  Surprising, right?  Well, New Line announced Beth McCarthy-Miller (a former SNL director) has been tapped to direct Rosalind Wiseman's Queen Bee Moms and King Pin Dads: Dealing with the Parents, Teachers, Coaches and Counselors Who Can Make -- Or Break -- Your Child's Future into a feature film.  Sound familiar?  Back in 2004, another of Wiseman's nonfiction was adapted into one of the greatest movies evvvveerrrr, Mean Girls. 

According to Variety, Moms isn't necessarily a direct sequel to the cult classic, but the storylines are very similar.  A happily married mother of two moves from the suburbs to the big city and must contend with successful mothers in a world of "competitive parenting."  Mean Girls, you know, one of the greatest movies of all time, was a commentary on the caste system of high school.  Will Mean Moms (which is being labeled as a "sister project") give us an inside look at how horribly combatant mothers can be? 

My mind is racing when it comes to casting, but I know I want this to happen:

It is a bit discouraging that Tina Fey won't be writing the script considering that Girls features some seriously quotable quips.  Perhaps Ms. Norbury will have a kid, and Fey could star!  A boy can dream.  I kind of want Charlize Theron to be the Regina George-esque leader in Moms.  Anyone who saw Young Adult might agree with me.