Random Poll: Who Would YOU Want to 'Star' in the New 'Wars'

Variety reported yesterday that director J. J. Abrams has narrowed the search for his new Episode VII lead down to a few young actors. Since I am not the biggest Star Wars fan, I can only judge these strapping young dudes on what they have done and on their potential hot factor. It's been said that Abrams is looking for a more diversified cast for the start of this set of sequels. Let's bring on the boys!

Ed Speleers

Ed Speleers is probably most known as Jimmy Kent on Downton Abbey, but some might recognize him from Eragon we well. He's got a bright face and could pull of a Skywalker shag. He's a cutie. 

Odds that I'd like to see him swing his lightsaber (out of 10)? 8.  Look at that face!

Jesse Plemons

Let's stick with blonde, cute television actors, shall we?  Jesse Plemons was seen on Friday Night Lights and the final season of Breaking Bad, and he was also seen as Phillip Seymour Hoffman's son in The Master.  He looks a lot like Hoffman that I sort of have to pick my jaw up off the floor.  

Odds that I'd like to see him swing his lightsaber? 8.5--he gets extra points for that square jaw.

Matthew James Thomas

Could Abrams be searching The Great White Way for his new lead?  Matthew James Thomas has been seen on Broadway in Spider-Man: Turn off the Dark and the Tony Award-winning Pippin.  Does anyone else get a James McAvoy vibe from him?  Like a McAvoy...Christian Borle mixture?  Anyone?  I'm glad Abrams is considering stage actors.  It would be a huge break for him

Odds that I'd like to see him swing his lightsaber?: 7.  He's cute, but he doesn't really do it for me.

John Boyega

At the age of 20, John Boyega is the youngest in contention for the lead role.  His most notable credit is the 2011 actioner Attack the Block, about a group of South London teens fighting off an alien invasion.  Boyega may lack big screen experience, but he's already got a knack for taking down things from outer space.  Could this relative newbie bring a spark to the franchise?  

Odds that I'd like to see him swing his lightsaber? 8.5, although I feel like a pervert thinking that he's hot.  He's just a baby!

Ray Fisher

Like Thomas, Ray Fisher is more known as a stage actor.  He's looks the least like a boy, but I don't know how old the character is supposed to be (that picture doesn't do him justice, but he's the most elusive of all the guys up for the part).  Last year, Fisher portrayed Muhammad Ali in Fetch Clay, Make Man, a role that required him to change his physique.  I personally think he's hot as hell.

Odds that I'd like to see him swing his lightsaber?: 9.5...I wonder how heavy his lightsaber is...

Whoever nabs the most coveted part ever will battle Girls star Adam Driver.  Other than this recent announcement, Driver's casting as the new Star Wars villain is the only thing we've heard. 

poll by twiigs.com

Trying to Get Back on the Wagon...

I feel like I need to apologize.  Usually after Oscar season is over, there is a lull in my movie watching.  Crazy movie fatigue, I guess.  There is a slew of movies coming in the next two weeks, and I promise I am going to get to review some stuff.  I told myself that I would try to review more things this year, and I just haven't seen anything new in a while. 

I apologize.  

My Heart Will Go On: Piggy and Dion to Duet

Do you really need another excuse to see Muppets Most Wanted?  Granted, I had my reservations about the sequel to the 2011 hit, but, come on, it's The Muppets!  This might be old news, but I just found out today that my plush, dramatic spirit animal, Miss Piggy, will sing a duet with Canadian's chest-smacking crown jewel, Celine Dion.  

The Muppet movies are always incredibly star-studded.  This newest installment alone features cameos by Tom Hiddleston and Lady Gaga, and the top-billed celebs are Tina Fey and Ty Burrell.  I mean, come on, people.  How are you not in line already outside your local cineplex?!  Phil from Modern Family is going to spent 90 minutes with felt co-stars!  I'm legitimately excited over here.  

The one cameo I'm inexplicably over the moon over is Celine Dion.  I admit, I am not even the biggest fan of the singer, but I am jazzed as hell for it.  Miss Piggy, who would give Patti LuPone a run for her money in the diva department, will sing a song with Dion.  In the movie, Piggy confides in Celine on the night before her wedding to Kermit.  The song is called, "Something So Right."  Never has a song been more aptly titled!!!

Good or 'Bad'...It's Still a Movie About a Man's Penis

You know how I always complain that men don't show enough skin?  How I always bitch and moan that women are always expected to take their tops off when men get to sit pretty all buttoned up?  Well, I hope that changes a smidge with the upcoming Bad Johnson.  

Yup, this movie is about a womanizer whose penis gets turned in a little man.  He wishes away his penis after his infidelity leads to him losing another girlfriend.  No, seriously, it's a little man.  Cam Gigandet plays the douchebag and Nick Thune plays the little guy.  It might be the greatest IMDB credit I've ever seen.  Until Gigandet can learn what it is to be a "man," his member shall remain a talking head.  And body.  With working limbs.  

This sounds like the greatest 80's comedy that never got made, and, I'm sorry, that poster is ridiculous.  Funny and stupid and over-the-top.  I am DYING for a trailer for this.  It's the ultimate bad movie experience, right?  I shall not overlook the hotness of Mr. Gigandet.  He is no stranger to taking it all off.

You're dumb if you look away!  Have I taught you nothing!

Gigandet's does douche-y a liiiiiiittle too well, so he might be right for the part of playing a dick with a talking dick.  But Thune isn't bad on the eyes either.  You know, if you're into shaggy boys who play the guitar and look as though they own a lot of button up flannel shirts...

While a talking dick might not be exactly what I had in mind, a dick's a dick, right?  One quibble, though.  No man would ever wish away his dick.  No matter how many girlfriends he lost, how small it is, or how much trouble it got him into.  

Right to the 'Heart'

I am not familiar with Larry Kramer's The Normal Heart.  Bad gay, bad theater student.  I was actually skimming through my copy of Angels in America yesterday.  A friend of mine is directing Tony Kushner's opus this summer, so the rise of the AIDS epidemic is something that I've been conscious of lately.  Perhaps the Oscar-winning Dallas Buyers Club made a more lasting impression than I thought?  

I know that Dallas is completely different than the subject matter of those plays.  I don't mean to compare them just because their characters are all suffering from the same disease.  The Normal Heart premiered in 1985 Off-Broadway, and, most recently, it was performed on Broadway with a star-studded cast including Ellen Barkin, Jim Parson, and Joe Mantello.  Naturally, a film version was inevitable.  Whether that was to be sooner than later, I wasn't sure, but Ryan Murphy's version will debut on HBO on May 25.

The cast is pretty impressive, and the sight of Ruffalo kissing Bomer is enough to give me a heart attack in the best way possible.  Jason Adams over at MNPP captured it in this pulse-pounding image!

My only worry is that I don't like Ryan Murphy as a director.  He has ADD when it comes to story, so I am afraid that he won't make it cohesive, but Kramer writing the screenplay is a total plus.  I am hoping that the cast will prevail in the end, and who knows, maybe this will be Murphy's best directing yet.

The Most Perfect Movie to Stage Poster Ever?

Yes, I am over the film to stage musical adaptation craze--there really isn't a light at the end of this tunnel, sadly.  When I heard about the stage musical adaptation of Heathers, however, all I kept thinking was, "Yesyesyesyesyes!!!"  

The black comedy is already so deliciously quotable, so over the top, so over zealous that the best (nay, only) way to make it better is to add songs.  The music and lyrics are by Kevin Murphy (Reefer Madness, drool) and Laurence O'Keefe (Bat Boy, gasp!), so I am confident that this version will not go down in flames like many of the other musical adaptations we've seen come and go.  

I just saw the poster online today, and isn't it sort of perfect?  The defiant, bitchy croquet stance...the scrunchy on the wrist...I'm sort of gagging over this one sheet!  Where can I get a copy to hang in my living room for me to stare at when I no doubt will be listening to this recording on deadly repeat when the cast album comes out?!  

There is some great rehearsal footage on BuzzFeed from a few months back.  It opens Off-Broadway on March 15.  

Fassbender Gives Good Head in First 'Frank' Trailer

Have you heard of Frank, the new comedy starring Maggie Gyllenhaal, Domhall Gleeson and Michael Fassbender?  Fassy wears a giant paper-mache head the entire film (a la Frank Longbottom), and it's creating a decent amount of buzz.  It debuted at the Sundance Film Festival earlier this year, and it will come out early this summer.

Gleeson plays Jon, a young man who is asked to join the band the Soronprfbs, an eccentric group headed by Fassy's Frank.  They record an album in Ireland, and, after posting some videos online, they are asked to play at the South by Southwest festival.  

It looks kooky and funny.  Bring on as much Domhall Gleeson as possible.  I will see him in anything and toke on his adorableness.  Put him more things, please.  What I'm super excited about is seeing Michael Fassbender do comedy.  After Shame, Inglorious Basterds, and (especially) 12 Years a Slave, it will be a treat to see him do something so light.  

Also, bring on Fassy in various tank tops.  No one should be allowed to wear tank tops excepts Michael Fassbender.  This shall be my first decree.

Maggie Gyllenhaal is serving some Harriet Harris realness.  I dig it.