Friday, April 11, 2014

'Draft Day' Makes Me Unreasonably Mad


There is something about Draft Day that bugs me.  More than bugs me actually.  Any time I saw a trailer or commercial for it, I got mad--unreasonably ticked that this movie is begging for people to watch it.  Is it Kevin Costner?  My aversion to sports?  The fact that I don't know if Jennifer Garner is Costner's love interest?  A combination of the three, surely.  

Do we really need a movie about an old, white guy trying to sign a football player?  It's ESPN porn.  Just a simple story about a rich guy trying to make more money with sports.  Sports already dominate popular culture enough, so why does there need to be a dramatization about the struggle of a man and football?  I could just not watch it...there is that option...when people don't like movies I want to see (be it a musical or a stuffy period drama) I tell them the same thing. 


By the way, does Costner have to do a movie about every sport?  Baseball (Field of Dreams, Bull Durham, For the Love of the Game), the rousing game of golf (Tin Cup), archery (Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves, a stretch but you gotta give it to me), and boring his audience to tears (Dragonfly, Waterworld, Swing Vote...) are all sports he has made movies about.  The next time he makes a sports movie, it better be something really enthralling.  Like ice dancing.  Or curling.  Something Winter Olympics adjacent, perhaps.  

Is Jennifer Garner Costner's love interest?  Sweet, merciful crap let him be his daughter or step daughter or niece or let her be a lesbian (although that possibly would open up an entirely new door or issues).  Anything by Kevin Costner's love interest.  It doesn't seem like she does anything but recline with her arms folded with smart blazers on.  Give her something better, people!  

Make it go away.  Shut it down.  End of rant.  

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