Monday, October 13, 2014

Fifty Shades of Suck: Benefits of a Childhood Bedroom

Talk about a missed opportunity!

In this week's long-awaited chapter of Fifty Shades Darker, we pick up right where we left off. Ana just bid 24Gs of Christian's money on his own cabin in Aspen. Yup, that's the kind of writer EL James is--the most literary tension this tiresome tome can muster is when Ana wonders if her beau will be mad that she spent his money. 

Christian takes Ana to his childhood bedroom, and I was hoping that he'd bread into a male version of the SNL hit "(Doing It in My) Twin Bed." Alas, I've learned that I never get what I want out of this wretched book. You can almost hear how annoyed I am while I read it in this week's podcast. 

James also spend a lot of time describing a fireworks display. I've honestly never heard fireworks described in such detail, because, you know, authors would normally just write, "there were fireworks." Make sure Ana doesn't get hold of any Disney movie made in the last 20 years, because she will pee her pants in glee watching the grandeur above Cinderella's castle. What a boob.  

Oh, and then there is some semblance of a plot later. It comes at literally the last 2 pages of the chapter, and it might perk up our narcoleptic listeners. Probably not, but still.  

If you are new to Fifty Shades of Suck, my best gal pal Megan and I meet up every week to read a chapter from the Fifty Shades of Grey trilogy, but we provide our own snarky commentary.  Last year, we subjected ourselves to the first book, and now we are chugging right along through the first sequel, Fifty Shades Darker.  If you would like to play catch up, the first set of podcasts are available here, and Fifty Shades Darker chapters are available below.  We hope you enjoy, and share them with your friends!!!

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