Wednesday, September 18, 2013

Fifty Shades of Suck: The Climax

Back in March, two high school best friends sat down to read EL James' erotic fiction sensation, Fifty Shades of Grey.  These two obviously had too much time on their hands.  Not only did they read Fifty Shades, they recorded every single chapter and shared it with the world--whether the world wanted it or not.  Those two friends are Megan McLachlan and Joey Moser.  The podcast was Fifty Shades of Suck.  This is the finale. 

First of all, I didn't realize how LONG it took it took us to actually read this book.  It clocks in at almost approximately six months.  Six months of nothing happening, if you ask me.  Never has a book promised me so much and delivered so little.  I proudly present the final two chapters of Fifty Shades of Suck: chapter 25 and chapter 26, respectively.  Well, not respectively since nothing in this book is respectable.  We are joined by two very avid fans, Megan and Robyn. 

I will miss the meetings with Megan, for sure, but that might be about it.  I am not ashamed to admit that.  These two podcasts might the most infuriating because NOTHING HAPPENS.  I've seen more climactic finales in gay porn.  For reals, kids, for reals.  Christian Grey and Anastasia Steele come to such a fittingly generic end, and I was so pissed that they wasted my time that I hurled the book into a nearby fountain upon reading the final paragraph. 

Robyn and Megan Number 2 presented us with a certificate of completion, a diploma if you will.  I think it's more prestigious and/or more respectable than a GED. 

My fiance, Jason, is going to be thrilled when I frame this and put it in our house.  I'm sure of it.  And there were presents!!!

We got our own flogger which Megan was super excited to take home.  No judgements, girl.  And theeeennnn:

That is the appropriate reaction.  I don't know if I could subject myself to Fifty Shades Darker, but never say never, right? 

Farewell, Fifty Shades of Suck listeners!  I hope you got, you know, something out of listening to us every week. 

If you are just discovering Fifty Shades of Suck, my galpal Megan and I are reading EL James's inexplicable hit Fifty Shades of Grey out loud and providing our own snarky commentary.  If you need to catch up, have a listen to each of the podcasts below.

Chapter 12

1 comment:

  1. "These two podcasts might the most infuriating because NOTHING HAPPENS. I've seen more climactic finales in gay porn. For reals, kids, for reals."

    And he would know Kids, he has watched a lot of gay porn. Like all of it.