Monday, September 1, 2014

Fifty Shades of Suck: Welcome to Bonertown

Happy Labor Day to everyone!  

Megan and I recorded Chapter 4 in our Fifty Shades of Suck podcast over the weekend, and we both thought that it would make a great way to cap off your long weekend!  Who needs the Every. Simpsons. Ever. Marathon or the Breaking Bad lovefest when you can hear Megan and I being snarky about the worst relationship ever committed?  You might want to tread carefully, because I declare my desire to kill myself quite early on in this chapter.  If Fifty Shades Darker is driving you to thoughts of suicide, use the number below.  

E.L. James must have thought she was boring her readers (she was), because this chapter is FULL of sex.  I'm not kidding.  There are 2 full on sex scenes in this chapter, but there was opportunity for even more.  James has two sex scenes back-to-back that fade to the fireplace.  Instead of having details that, you know, further the plot or make things interesting, James must have taken the notes from her editors to not have Ana and Christian bang themselves sore so much in one section of the book.  

You know those cheesy love scenes in movies where the camera fades over the fireplace to suggest sex?  James pulls that TWICE in this chapter alone!  

This is legitimately 2 hours long.  Enjoy!  

Ana's psychotic tendencies continue in this chapter.  Her possessiveness reaches even further highs when she tells Christian about the "ashen young woman" who accosted her in front of her workplace.  Apparently, Ana can't handle the fact that Christian had other girlfriends before, but the craziness is at least double sided.  After they bang (legitimately, not fireplace fade) the first time, Christian jokingly calls Ana his wench and demands that she make him some food.  I wonder if these two would be good opposite each other in Shakespeare's The Taming of the Shrew?  

Christian also says of Jack, "That fucker better watch himself."  Okaaaaaaaayyyy...

The chapter ends with a great Miley Cyrus "Wrecking Ball" reference when we get introduced to a character at the very end.

If you are new to Fifty Shades of Suck, my best gal pal Megan and I meet up every week to read a chapter from the Fifty Shades of Grey trilogy, but we provide our own snarky commentary.  Last year, we subjected ourselves to the first book, and now we are chugging right alone through the first sequel, Fifty Shades Darker.  If you would like to play catch up, the first set of podcasts are available here, and Fifty Shades Darker chapters are available below.  We hope you enjoy, and share them with your friends!!!

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