Friday, August 15, 2014

Fifty Shades of Suckers: The Hunger Games

You thought we wouldn't stick around this time, didja?  Wishful thinking?!  Anyway!  Megan and I are back with our second Fifty Shades of Suckers podcast.  

This chapter is a bit shorter, and it's a lot less dramatic.  It took Ana all of, you know, five minutes to reunite with Christian Grey.  He takes her to a restaurant, and we rehash Christian's issues with Ana not eating.  I don't know why she doesn't gorge herself all the time.  I bet Liz Lemon would endure some light spanking just to get as much food that Ana is offered.  

Megan reads the pimpy-faced waiter (we assume he is crater-faced) like the kid from The Simpsons.  We're already casting for the second movie, so those producers better be listening to these golden suggestions!

You don't say...

They eventually get into the back of a car, and they go over the same stupid shit that got them into this predicament in the first place.  She doesn't want to get smacked with canes (even though she can change her hard limits, but, apparently, even Anastasia forgot the details of her own life), and Christian still doesn't want to be touched.  It has something to do with his "crack-whore mother" and her pimp.  Yes, pimp.  Pimp is mentioned at least twice in this chapter and we collapse into a fit of giggles.  

My other favorite thing about this chapter is how stunned Anastasia is when Christian gives her some more technology.  He forks over an iPad.  A brand.  New.  iPad.  Some men give Godiva, Christian gives sleek, cold tablets.  Her enthusiasm for this laptop is not unlike Phil Dunphy's excitement over getting on in that episode of Modern Family.  Anastasia equates true love to downloading apps from the App Store.  

The other great moment from this episode is when Christian drops Ana off at her apartment and says, "in you go!"  Kind of like encouraging a puppy to go through a doggy door for the first time.  Oh, and you will wonder if Nelly Furtado sold her soul to have her name mentioned in this chapter.  You'll hear why.  

Take a listen to chapter 2, and then leave us some love in the comments!

If you are new to Fifty Shades of Suckers, Megan from Megoblog and I have teamed up (against our better judgement) to provide you all with a Fifty Shades of Grey experience that you won't be ashamed of.  Once a week, we read a chapter out loud (one chapter per podcast), and we record ourselves doing it.  You can catch up with last week's introductory podcast here.  Last year, we had a ball reading it aloud in public places and making people uncomfortable.  You can listen to all of those entries here.  Enjoy!  

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