Wednesday, September 24, 2014

Fifty Shades of Suck: Silver Balls...Silver Balls...


Silver balls...silver balls...it's domming tiiiiiiime in the city!!!

Yes, the latest chapter of Fifty Shades Darker mainly revolves a pair of ben wa balls that Christian has Ana...uh...wear?  Do you wear them, or do you carry them?  Serious questions are being asked here, people!  

Again, nothing really happens in this chapter.  EL James has decided to tease us with more sex that goes absolutely nowhere.  I have to point out that at least the sex in the first Fifty Shades had a point.  It furthered the plot a bit in order to have Ana process it (her thoughts on the sex itself are horrible, but at least James sets it up for some thought), but the sex in Fifty Shades Darker is pointless. Look at me trying to make sense of this pointless fuckery! 


Christian takes Ana to a masked fundraiser in this chapter, and I was hoping that it would turn into the orgy scene of Eyes Wide Shut.  My hopes are dashed yet again. I didn't know masquerade balls actually had a purpose. Doesn't it seem like masquerade parties are just masquerade parties, and benefits are just benefits? Are they really mixed together like that?  Maybe I need to get invited to more masquerade balls...


My favorite single moment from the chapter, though, is when Christian takes Ana into his library, and she quite literally has the same reaction Belle had in Disney's Beauty and the Beast.  Yup, Fifty Shades has ruined yet another Disney classic.  



If you are new to Fifty Shades of Suck, my best gal pal Megan and I meet up every week to read a chapter from the Fifty Shades of Grey trilogy, but we provide our own snarky commentary.  Last year, we subjected ourselves to the first book, and now we are chugging right along through the first sequel, Fifty Shades Darker.  If you would like to play catch up, the first set of podcasts are available here, and Fifty Shades Darker chapters are available below.  We hope you enjoy, and share them with your friends!!!


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