Thursday, March 28, 2013

Tyler Perry Is Tempting Me...

A Kardashian is trying to act!!!  Red alert!  Red alert!

Kim Kardashian's presence is, surprisingly, not the most troubling thing about Tyler Perry's newest melodrama.  She doesn't calm anyone's nerves, don't get me wrong.  Every time I see her on a movie screen, I wonder if she accidentally walked onto a movie set, and the producers are just too scared to tell her to leave. 

The full title of this movie is Tyler Perry's Temptation: Confessions of a Marriage Counselor.  For reals.  That is the worst Lifetime title I have ever heard.  I sometimes see a banner for this movie on a website and just stare at the title because it is soooo wretched.  Did Ms. Kardashian also suggest the title? 

Literally the most flattering picture I could find of her in this movie

TPT:CoaMC (even the acronym is lame) focuses on a married woman who is tempted by another man.  All that title for a two dollar generic premise.  The tempted woman in question is Judith played by Jurnee Smollett-Bell.  Now if you are looking at the picture above and thought, "I know her...but where..."  I shall tell you!  That is no one other than Denise from Full House.  YES!!!  Mi-cheeeeelle's best friend is flirting with adultery, everyone!!!

All grown up.  And making this guy uncomfortable.

A lot of people don't like Perry's films, and this might be because he churns something crappy out almost every year.  He's kind of like Woody Allen.  Without the integrity.  Or talent.  Yes, I know Allen's movies are critical misses most of the time, but I love him all the same.  Perry's movies are obvious and leaden, but, for some reason, I really want to see this TPT:CoaMC.  Is it because I just want to see gorgeous people behaving badly?  The trailer is SOOOOO DRAMAAAAATIC.  I love me a good melodrama no matter who is behind the camera.

The two men fighting for Judith's affections are her husband, Brice (Lance Gross, left) and Harley (yes, Harley, played by Robbie Jones, right).  Now if you ask me, Harley looks like a two-wheeler.  Brice is a much better catch than the little weasel who woos her.  In the trailer, Brice forgets their anniversary and she suggests to Harley that Brice neglects her to watch sports.  Welcome to every portrayal of marriage I've ever seen on television, Judith!  I am pretty sure one of the Tanner men forgot an anniversary on Full House.  Open your eyes!!! 

Is anyone up for a little Temptation?  Anyone?  Perhaps you need a little convincing...

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