Wednesday, May 15, 2013

Joey's Second Rant About The Into the Woods Movie

I am fully aware that I am NOT a casting director.  What the heck do I know about the trappings of a Hollywood agent trying to book famous actors to be in a musical adaptation of one of my favorite musicals of all time?!  Nothing.  There, I admit that.  Now may I freak out?

It was announced today that Chris Pine and Jake Gyllenhaal were "in talks" to join the big screen musical adaptation of Stephen Sondheim's Into the Woods as the two princes.  I am not sure how I feel about this news.  When news broke that Meryl Streep was taking on the role of The Witch, I was excited and nervous.  You can read all about my initial skepticism here.  I am turning into the person who flips out at casting news. 

I honestly don't know how I feel about this.  I don't know why...Pine is D-R-E-A-M-Y.  And Jake?  Well, Jake and I have been secret lovers for years.  I never wished I knew how to quit you, baby, because you're perfection.  I KNEW Hollywood actors would be shoved into this adaptation, but I didn't realize how Hollywood we are talking here.  Johnny Depp is set as the Wolf.  I am fine with this.  James Corden is set at The Baker.  I actually love that.  Perhaps they are just filling out the smaller characters (there really aren't smaller characters with bigger named stars and letting the Baker and Baker's Wife be Broadway experienced performers?

I AM SO CONFLICTED!!!  Can they sing?!  What's going on?!?!

I wish...

I also heard that Anna Kendick is being circled to play Cinderella.  Does she have too much of a harder edge (brought on by her eye-rolling character in Pitch Perfect) now?  It just might be the early Smash withdrawl setting in, but I want Megan Hilty!!!  Yeah, I am still waiting for that Barbie Dream House, too.  

The thing I find very weird is that people are saying, "Oh, Jake Gyllenhaal can sing!  Don't you remember when he sang on SNL?"  Oh.  You mean when he hosted and in his monologue put on an afro and a dress and sang "And I Am Telling You I'm Not Going" from Dreamgirls?  Yeah...I remember that.  I hate to break it to you, but that is a horrible frame of reference.

Yeeeeaaaaaahhhhhhh...Can Chris Pine sing?  Anyone?  Was he part of an unsuccessful band that we don't know about?  They are both dreamy, yes.  Very prince-like, yes.  May I suggest someone?

James Marsden looks almost exactly like Prince Eric from The Little Mermaid.  Maybe he doesn't want to be another prince after Enchanted, and maybe he doesn't want to be in another musical after Hairspray.  But since I love Gyllenhaal and Pine as actors, I should just shut up.  I would rather have a stronger acting ensemble than only strong singers.  Ok...I'm calming...calming...I am not ok with these acting decisions...on to the Baker's Wife!!!  I think I am so anxious to hear casting decisions from this movie, that I automatically criticize it.  Pine and Gyllenhaal are good actors, so if they can carry a tune, I will be happy.  

1 comment:

  1. Leave them alone. The show works better with stronger actors. And hotter ones too. There is NO question that the BW would dally with either of those boys. I can hear the panties (and a few jocks) dropping already!!