Friday, June 14, 2013

Fifty Shades of Suck: Poor, Unfortunate Souls

What does a homosexual get when he reads a best-selling erotic novel with his high school best friend?  A sex contract, apparently!  Megan from Megoblog and I got to the chapter I was looking forward to the most in Fifty Shades of Grey--the sex contract.  I wasn't looking forward to the fantastical, over-the-top sex, but the documents about the sex.  That says a lot about me, I guess.  When we got to the end of the contract, we had to sign it.  We had to.  I seriously wonder how many desperate housewives signed their own book in a secret attempt to get closer to the Christian Grey. 

Megan and I read chapters ten and eleven, so you have lots to listen to this weekend.  Just in time for Father's Day.  And what father wouldn't want to hear two insane people reading about a smoking hot guy and his emotionally inferior counterpart?  Sure beats a tie, if you ask me.  Listen to chapter ten here, and then if you are so inclined, mozy on over to chapter eleven here

In these chapters, we finally get to see Ana mingle with the other people in her life (yes, there are other characters) while she mulls over the sex contract Christian gave her.  This is a serious document.  I would say it is the most infamous contract signing since this:

I imagine she had the same expression on her face when she signed it...

As far as casting the film goes, Megan and I originally said Jane Fonda or Blythe Danner for the role of Christian's mother, the awesomely named Grace Trevelyan Grey.  We then remembered that he was in his late twenties, so I am going to do with Sharon Stone.  She's still sexy, and she would be a perfectly camp choice for the role. 

Speaking of movie casting, Megan and I realized we desperately overlooked a candidate for Anastasia Steele.  This actor has the same maturity level, and, if you ask me, is one of the more believable choices:

I might laugh more in this chapter than in any other.  I couldn't contain myself (especially in chapter eleven). 

Carly Rae Jepsen totes peed when she read this.  You know it.

While learning of the kinds of things Christian would be binding Ana with, we thought author EL James really dropped the ball. 

Christian's Red Room of Pain could be holiday themed!

Just in time for Father's Day...

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