Monday, May 12, 2014

Reboots and Sequels and Headaches! Oh My!

Never thought you'd see these movies together, did you?

Remakes and sequels and "reboots" (man, I hate that word) are standard practices now.  If a movie is 20 years old and mildly successful, studios don't bat an eye to tell the same story again.  We've all, unfortunately, gotten used to this idea.  Some projects have been announced over the last few days have made me scratch my head.  

Rebel Wilson will be taking on the Goldie Hawn role in a remake of Private Benjamin.  Or a reboot...or kind of sequel.  In the original, Hawn played a woman who joined the Army after her husband (Albert Brooks) died during sex on their wedding night.  In the remake, Wilson will star as a redneck who "joins the Army to get out of a tough situation."  Great.  At least Wilson, an Australian, will get to play a white trash American!

The movie doesn't have a director yet (maybe it will just crawl away and die?), but may I make a suggestion?  Can Goldie Hawn come out of obscurity to play the Eileen Brennan role?  Perhaps she can show Wilson how it's really done?  I would pay to see that.

It's morphin' time!

The Mighty Morphin Power Rangers are getting a big screen reboot.  I was one of the pathetic kids in elementary school who loved MMPR, so this kind of excites me even though I only really watched the original episodes.  What cycle are they even on now?  Zeo?  Turbo?  In Space?  What the what is going on with Saturday morning entertainment these days?!

Lionsgate is behind the resurgence, so I can see them trying to make this edgy or young adult.  Too bad it's not based on a young adult fiction book, because MMPR would be set!  Imagine Shailene Woodley as the Pink Ranger!  That idea has probably already been thrown around.  

Can we just keep those original costumes?  Those deliciously 1990's lycra ensembles.  Can David Yost (the original Blue Ranger) be featured in the movie, please?  At least offer him a role as an apology for having been ostracized on the set of the original show.  Plus, he's all kinds of nerd dreamy, so you would be doing your gay core fans a major sold here.

Here's the real noodle scratcher of the day.  They are planning a sequel to last year's Spring Breakers.  I do....n't understaaaaaand.  Why would you make a sequel to that?  Are you trying to make a theatrical Girls Gone Wild?  I legitimately want to know.  Someone explain it to me!

Spring Breakers: The Second Coming will not feature the same cast (which included Ashley Benson, Vanessa Hudgens and James Franco), and it will focus on a new group of hardcore partiers who tango with an equally hardcore group of religious fanatics who are trying to convert them.  All right then.  Irvine Welsh will write the screenplay, and Jonas Akerland is set to direct.

Franco was originally down for a sequel, but it seems he isn't looking forward to the not-so-sequel, because it isn't being directed or guided by Breakers director Harmony Korine.  He took to his Instagram (what else) to vent his frustration, but, let's face it, we won't get another moment that's as weird and awesome as this:

No comments:

Post a Comment