Thursday, July 18, 2013

When a Hunky Tree Falls in the 'Woods'...

Fine, Jake!  Break my heart! 

It was brought to my attention today that Jake Gyllenhaal has dropped out of Rob Marshall's big screen adaptation of Into the Woods.  Jakey-poo was set to play one of the two hunky princes who eventually marry Cinderella and Rapunzel.  I was totally looking forward to Jake gushing all smarmy-like for us.  Gyllenhaal dropped out to star in Nightcrawler, a "gritty crime drama" where he will play a criminal who gets carried away into LA's crime journalism community.  Lame!  Way to stay in your comfort zone, Jake!

So, naturally, I am DYING to know who might replace him.  I still feel like they will cast someone not related to Broadway.  Sorry, Andrew Rannells, Nick Adams, and Matt Doyle!  Even though they probably won't be prancing through the foliage, that doesn't mean we can look at hot pictures of them, right?


Sorry!  I got distracted!  Back to the matter at hand.  Buzzfeed actually has an entertaining piece about which actors should be Disney princes, and I feel like some of them can be applied in this situation.  Here is what I came up with for possibilites.  Listen up Hollywood!

They could go younger (which I doubt) and have a decent crop to pick from.  Hunter Parrish has proved himself on Broadway, but he has also done movies (It's Complicted, 17 Again) and television (Weeds).  Aaron Tveit made everyone swoon in Les Miserables.  Joseph Gordon-Levitt likes to take risks, but who knows if he can sing.  Jeremy Jordan has already been filming the movie version of The Last Five Years.  He's got that chiseled jaw which helps.  Everyone knows how I feel about him, so let's just move on. 

A bit more mainstream, you say?  Ok, how about Ryan Reynolds?  Studly, yes.  Or Patrick Wilson and Cheyenne Jackson?  They read both princes roles for Marshall's New York reading of the movie.  Gordon-Levitt also fits this category since his career is pretty hot right now. 

They are probably going to go for one of these types of guys.  Matt Bomer is a rising star (thanks to Magic Mike and his television work on The New Normal and Glee), but he might be slightly too new.  I don't think Chris Pine (the other committed prince) is necessarily a household name either, so they could be good together.  How about Brandon Routh?  Brandon Routh.  You know, the Superman from that movie no one seems to want to remember.  I just think he's hot so I included him.  Also, that jawline.  He's yummy.  

Chris Hemsworth's career is on fire at the moment.  The Avengers, Thor, Rush, Snow White and Huntsman.  He's EVERYWHERE!  He seems like an up and comer who wants to try different roles and genres.  Perhaps he's being considered.  And then we reach Channing Tatum.  My movie husband.  Like Hemsworth, he is starting to embrace his versatility.  Tatum's ventures into comedy prove that he's more than a pretty face. 

May I suggest someone?  How about Nate Parker?  I believe I have advocating him before for something, but I can't remember what.  He was great in Arbitrage and The Great Debators.  Plus, he's HOT.  Giving me a fever.  If he was a prince, those woods would be on fire.  Into the Forest Fire.