Tuesday, March 11, 2014

Good or 'Bad'...It's Still a Movie About a Man's Penis


You know how I always complain that men don't show enough skin?  How I always bitch and moan that women are always expected to take their tops off when men get to sit pretty all buttoned up?  Well, I hope that changes a smidge with the upcoming Bad Johnson.  

Yup, this movie is about a womanizer whose penis gets turned in a little man.  He wishes away his penis after his infidelity leads to him losing another girlfriend.  No, seriously, it's a little man.  Cam Gigandet plays the douchebag and Nick Thune plays the little guy.  It might be the greatest IMDB credit I've ever seen.  Until Gigandet can learn what it is to be a "man," his member shall remain a talking head.  And body.  With working limbs.  


This sounds like the greatest 80's comedy that never got made, and, I'm sorry, that poster is ridiculous.  Funny and stupid and over-the-top.  I am DYING for a trailer for this.  It's the ultimate bad movie experience, right?  I shall not overlook the hotness of Mr. Gigandet.  He is no stranger to taking it all off.


You're dumb if you look away!  Have I taught you nothing!

Gigandet's does douche-y a liiiiiiittle too well, so he might be right for the part of playing a dick with a talking dick.  But Thune isn't bad on the eyes either.  You know, if you're into shaggy boys who play the guitar and look as though they own a lot of button up flannel shirts...



While a talking dick might not be exactly what I had in mind, a dick's a dick, right?  One quibble, though.  No man would ever wish away his dick.  No matter how many girlfriends he lost, how small it is, or how much trouble it got him into.  

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